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How To Have An Orgasm

"Sex With Emily" host Emily Morse answers your questions about how to have an orgasm, during solo play or with a partner. Many factors can affect a woman's orgasm, and you're not alone.

  • Sex and masturbation advice from Dr. Emily Morse
  • Host of the podcast Sex With Emily
  • I Can't Orgasm
    Dear Emily,

    I am 26-years-old and (as far as I know) I have never orgasmed during sex. I have an amazing boyfriend that I am so incredibly in love with. I have the best sex life with him that I have ever had and I still feel like I should orgasm because my body tightens up, my breathing quickens, and my muscles feel slightly strained. However I never orgasmÖ

    My boyfriend has recently expressed his feelings of inadequacy because of this fact and to be honest I feel like something is broken because I canít orgasm. I have tried on my own, with him, and stimulating myself with him. I felt like I came very close recently but then it just went awayÖ(GAH!) When I have felt close it has been when Iím on top and my clitoris is simultaneously hitting his pubic mound as Iím thrusting. PLEASE HELP US! We both really want me to orgasm!



    Dear Sylvia,

    If you arenít sure if youíve orgasmed you havenít orgasmed. Trust me, youíll know when it happens.

    The good news is that youíre having the best sex of your life AND youíre incredibly in love with your boyfriend. Now all you need is a mind-blowing orgasm and your life will be complete.

    If you want to orgasm during sex you have to take responsibility for your own pleasure. Your boyfriend isnít sexually inadequate and your body isnít broken. You just need more clitoral stimulation to get you there.†Not only do 75% of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, many women require lots of it. †Most sex positions offer little to no clitoral stimulation. When youíre on top you experience more clitoral stimulation but itís still not enough.

    Some women orgasm relatively easy through manual stimulation or sex. Others need a vibrator. For you I would suggest buying a subtle yet powerful clitoral vibrator like the Double Clitoral Vibrator. Use it on your own and then use it with your boyfriend during sex. Play with your vibrator on your clitoris while he is inside of you. †If you really need to step it up get an Unrelenting Wand Vibrator and use that during sex. Itís not subtle but it is effective. If you donít orgasm after a minute or two using that during sex then we should talk.

    Get a toy and try to enjoy the ride. If youíre†having the best sex of your life with someone you love donít get too caught up with grand finale. It will happen when it happens.



    Looking For Power?  This Wand is Unrelenting
    Item Code: EM-SE-2089-20-3
    Here at we test all of toys with a vibration meter. The highest rating we give is called Unrelenting. Emily likes this toy because it is unrelenting yet inexpensive.
    Retail Price: $49.99
    Vibrators Price: $31.99
    You Save 36%

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